Alex Foster chapter 14

Nika's breathing slowed, his hand trembled slightly and light sigh escaped between his lips. I knew he had woken up, but I didn`t say anything. I squeezed my eyes close, and I tried unsuccessfully to get my heart to beat more calmly. The neck`s skin felt clammy and cold when Nika pulled his head further, and I felt something in my throat as his eyes drilled holes in my face. He raised his hand a little, put it in my chest, and just stared at me.

Time seemed to have stopped completely, I don`t know how long we layed here motionlessly, I pretending to be sleeping and Nika studying me with his eyes. After a period that seemed like an eternity, Nika suddenly pulled his hand away, sat with his back towards me and spoke.

 "I know you are awake."
 
I wanted to argue with that, continue to pretend I was sleeping, but still I turned my eyes to the t-shirt covered back.

"How did you know that?"  
"I make you nervous."

 I didn`t know what to say again. I had expected to meet completely different kind of person, I had expected fear, bitterness and disgust. I had imagined Nika would still be the same boy I remembered, but I was sitting in front of a complete stranger, young man whose voice didn`t tremble when he spoke to me. I could not read any kind of emotion from his face, and his eyes didn`t reveal anything he had in his mind. The atmosphere was oppressive and heavy, waiting.

"I don`t know what I should say."
Muffled laugh.
"You could apologize me for a start."

Ice cold stone dropped in my stomach , poison spread into the veins, and breathing became almost impossible.

 "I'm so fucking sorry about what happened," I whispered, feeling the familiar burning in the eyes and pressure in the throath. "I would give anything, fuck just anything, if I could get it somehow undone. I never, I never ... I'm so fucking sorry. "
 
Nika`s shoulders sank and he was shaking. I had never felt so bad before, and I would have wanted to run away. Leave. Get pissed and forget. 

"You left me," Nika whispered voice trembling. "Fuck you."