Mum found again her old friend booze and taking care of Nika was more and more often on my shoulders. I was kid myself, not even six yet, but I wanted to take care of him as well as Erik had done. I learned to change his diapers right after funeral, gave my old toys to him and told stories at night. All hate towards Nika was gone, only endless love was left. I laid on the floor and pouted my lips. Nika crawled to me, gave slobbery kiss and laughed. I had learned to love that laugh, dimples in his round face, everything in him. Every time I heard door closed after mum went to bar, I got up from bed and sneaked to Nika`s bed. I kissed his soft lips and said good night.
From some of the men my mum took home I remember only vaguely scraping beard on my face, sweaty and harsh hands on my body and beer-stinking breath on my mouth. Mum threw them out immediately she heard they had touched me, but blamed me for it. I had spoiled his dream prices, I had made them more interested about me than her, everything was always my fault.
Nika was seven years old when mum saw me kissing him in the porch. She shouted and raged completely drunk, tore Nika inside, and smashed the door close in front of me.
Ever since I didn`t exist to mom. I became invisible, non-existent, and my mom no longer even looked at me. I wasn`t allowed to play with Nika, to speak with him, to touch him. I walked in my own home like some fucking ghost, without getting any reaction to my words or actions. I feeded with silence and shame my anger that has growed inside me for years, until I didn`t even recognise myself anymore. I couldn`t understand then, and not really even now, how mother can reject her own child like that.
perjantai 31. tammikuuta 2014
torstai 30. tammikuuta 2014
Alex Foster chapter 8
I had told to myself for the past three months that my family had died.
Father I had never even had, he had left after he heard about his upcoming child. Mum blamed my birth for destroying her life and dreams, and sought comfort from the booze. She left me alone at home, and went looking for a savior of her life to smoke-filled boozers. Sometimes she grabbed even quite nice guys, but these relationships never lasted for long, no sane person could stand for long my mum`s devastating self-pity and constant drinking.
I was 4 when my mum met Erik. They fell in love fierily, married each other in registry office after dating for a week, and my mum stopped drinking because of Erik. Erik considered me immediately as his own son, and I worshiped him just as much as my mum. Soon my mum noticed she was pregnant again, and Erik`s eyes had a new kind of glow. I tried pointlessly to compete with the unborn king, we competed in a completely different category, and I started to hate Nika with my whole five-year-old`s grit. Erik just smiled to my attention-seeking.
Nika was six months old when Erik started to cough blood. Doctors gave their best, but finally lung cancer won. In Erik's funeral Nika shouted and cryied covering priest's speech, and mum put him in my arms with heart-breaking tirednesd in her face.
I had never even wanted to touch Nika - I couldn`t stand him. Here I sat anyway, holding a baby whose crying just got louder while I watched him. I didn`t knew what to say or do; I tried stiffly to rock him but it only seemed to make things worse. The neighbor's lady told me to go outside to wait with Nika, and the priest continued to talk as I walked into the bright sunshine.
"Shut up, you idiot," I snapped angrily, but Nika didn`t stop crying. It kicked, clenched fists and shouted, face red. I just wanted to somehow silence him, and I pressed my lips hesitantly to Nika's mouth. My mom had done so to Erik always when Erik was angry, and finally he had forgived and laughed. Nika silenced immediately. He looked at me completely expressinlessly, blue eyes wide and mouth open. His hands lighted their grip a little and kicking stopped. As to make sure he would stay silent, I gave him another kiss that lasted longer than first one and tasted salty. Nika smiled and talked jibberish, and I didn`t even noticed I was smiling too.
Father I had never even had, he had left after he heard about his upcoming child. Mum blamed my birth for destroying her life and dreams, and sought comfort from the booze. She left me alone at home, and went looking for a savior of her life to smoke-filled boozers. Sometimes she grabbed even quite nice guys, but these relationships never lasted for long, no sane person could stand for long my mum`s devastating self-pity and constant drinking.
I was 4 when my mum met Erik. They fell in love fierily, married each other in registry office after dating for a week, and my mum stopped drinking because of Erik. Erik considered me immediately as his own son, and I worshiped him just as much as my mum. Soon my mum noticed she was pregnant again, and Erik`s eyes had a new kind of glow. I tried pointlessly to compete with the unborn king, we competed in a completely different category, and I started to hate Nika with my whole five-year-old`s grit. Erik just smiled to my attention-seeking.
Nika was six months old when Erik started to cough blood. Doctors gave their best, but finally lung cancer won. In Erik's funeral Nika shouted and cryied covering priest's speech, and mum put him in my arms with heart-breaking tirednesd in her face.
I had never even wanted to touch Nika - I couldn`t stand him. Here I sat anyway, holding a baby whose crying just got louder while I watched him. I didn`t knew what to say or do; I tried stiffly to rock him but it only seemed to make things worse. The neighbor's lady told me to go outside to wait with Nika, and the priest continued to talk as I walked into the bright sunshine.
"Shut up, you idiot," I snapped angrily, but Nika didn`t stop crying. It kicked, clenched fists and shouted, face red. I just wanted to somehow silence him, and I pressed my lips hesitantly to Nika's mouth. My mom had done so to Erik always when Erik was angry, and finally he had forgived and laughed. Nika silenced immediately. He looked at me completely expressinlessly, blue eyes wide and mouth open. His hands lighted their grip a little and kicking stopped. As to make sure he would stay silent, I gave him another kiss that lasted longer than first one and tasted salty. Nika smiled and talked jibberish, and I didn`t even noticed I was smiling too.
sunnuntai 26. tammikuuta 2014
Forgotten children 21. chapter
I looked at the soldiers standing in front of me, but even though they were much better armed than us, I wasn`t afraid. I had nothing to lose, I was ready to die for freedom and better society. For a long time I hadn`t been pure and innocent like Angels usually were.
Seven years ago I had noticed feathers in my back and told my parents, thinking they would help and protect me, but instead they got frightened and took me to the police. My parents had always been ideal citizens: they worked hard with low wage, believed everything they saw on the news, and never questioned anything, not even entertainment or consumerism. Now afterwards my parent`s reaction felt obvious, goverment`s propaganda had blurred their understanding about right and wrong, and they thought they were doing the right thing, though it sounds unbelievable.
I was forced to go to training where they broke our will. We could be for days without food or sleep, and we were beaten and humiliated constantly. That hell lasted for three months, and I thought that nothing could be worse, but I was wrong. After the training I was sold to a local politician who abused me.
When he first time left me lying on the basement floor, crying and bleeding, something broke inside me. Other people had abandoned and forgotten me for long time ago, but now even I lost myself. After that day I was empty, I just stared in front of me without being able to talk. I didn`t feel anything they did to me, it was like I was lost inside my head.
I wouldn`t have survived for long if other boy, around 14 years old, hadn`t feeded and taken care of me. Finally, probably three months later, we were saved and taken to the Angel City where I had slowly recovered over the years. Still, I would always be broken and could never forget what they have done to me. Now was my time to take revenge.
Seven years ago I had noticed feathers in my back and told my parents, thinking they would help and protect me, but instead they got frightened and took me to the police. My parents had always been ideal citizens: they worked hard with low wage, believed everything they saw on the news, and never questioned anything, not even entertainment or consumerism. Now afterwards my parent`s reaction felt obvious, goverment`s propaganda had blurred their understanding about right and wrong, and they thought they were doing the right thing, though it sounds unbelievable.
I was forced to go to training where they broke our will. We could be for days without food or sleep, and we were beaten and humiliated constantly. That hell lasted for three months, and I thought that nothing could be worse, but I was wrong. After the training I was sold to a local politician who abused me.
When he first time left me lying on the basement floor, crying and bleeding, something broke inside me. Other people had abandoned and forgotten me for long time ago, but now even I lost myself. After that day I was empty, I just stared in front of me without being able to talk. I didn`t feel anything they did to me, it was like I was lost inside my head.
I wouldn`t have survived for long if other boy, around 14 years old, hadn`t feeded and taken care of me. Finally, probably three months later, we were saved and taken to the Angel City where I had slowly recovered over the years. Still, I would always be broken and could never forget what they have done to me. Now was my time to take revenge.
perjantai 24. tammikuuta 2014
Alex Foster chapter 7
I was flying with swoop board when I heard security guards running and
shooting.I tried to think fast. We had to get in maintenance tunnels,
but I didnt have the key and lock picking would take too long. Somehow I
need to get rid of guards but they were only "monkeys", low level
workers doing their job, they didnt deserve death.
Then I remembered how I had worried that security guards would shoot the gas tank and got an idea. "Hop off!", I shouted to A'rya. "Let's make a fuss!" I threw the swoop board towards guards, and while the board was still mid air, far from guards, I shooted the gas tank. Immediately the hydrogen in tank reacted with oxygen and there was huge explosion. I whistled, no wonder that swoop boards weren't sold to kids. They would fly too fast, crash into wall and explode.
After the explosion had faded, I could see that the whole tunnel was on fire and heard security guards cursing, but no one sounded to get hurt. We run to the door, I picked the lock (Luckily Frank had teached how to do it) and we get out in less than two minutes.
When we had finally walked to our apartment, we started to disscuss where we would go. Echelon wanted to go to Atlantis where our mother lived, but I couldnt just give up the fight and get away. Eventually we decided to go to Combat Zones. It was far away from downtown, there was really few polices and Janus said he had got friends from there when he had lived there.
I could see he was hiding something.Why he had been in Combat Zones? I remembered it two years ago he had suddenly get away and came back three months later in terrible shape. After that he got clean and joined Liberty Army, but something had changed in him and Nika. It seemed like there was tension between them, and I wanted to know why.
Then I remembered how I had worried that security guards would shoot the gas tank and got an idea. "Hop off!", I shouted to A'rya. "Let's make a fuss!" I threw the swoop board towards guards, and while the board was still mid air, far from guards, I shooted the gas tank. Immediately the hydrogen in tank reacted with oxygen and there was huge explosion. I whistled, no wonder that swoop boards weren't sold to kids. They would fly too fast, crash into wall and explode.
After the explosion had faded, I could see that the whole tunnel was on fire and heard security guards cursing, but no one sounded to get hurt. We run to the door, I picked the lock (Luckily Frank had teached how to do it) and we get out in less than two minutes.
When we had finally walked to our apartment, we started to disscuss where we would go. Echelon wanted to go to Atlantis where our mother lived, but I couldnt just give up the fight and get away. Eventually we decided to go to Combat Zones. It was far away from downtown, there was really few polices and Janus said he had got friends from there when he had lived there.
I could see he was hiding something.Why he had been in Combat Zones? I remembered it two years ago he had suddenly get away and came back three months later in terrible shape. After that he got clean and joined Liberty Army, but something had changed in him and Nika. It seemed like there was tension between them, and I wanted to know why.
Forgotten children 20. chapter
After the battle was over, we divided into different cars and some left to take the wounded to Angel City. Me, Benjamin, Jeff and his siblings get into same bus with Alex and Lucas. I was suprised to see them here, even though Lucas had been in the same class with me and Jeff for three years, I didn`t really know him. When Alex had been in our class, he and Lucas had spent all breaks together, and when he got sick, (or so everyone had thought), Lucas became depressed and isolated himself from others. Until I saw Alex today, I had had no idea that he is Angel.
We stayed the night at the California countryside, away from all towns, and waited for other rebels, until the next afternoon the last ones arrived. I was nervous the whole way to Los Angeles, this was much greater than yesterday's protest, and I didn`t thought that everything would go as easily in the future.
Los Angeles looked a lot worse than I had thought. Everywhere was floating smog, illegal immigrants slept on their blankets in graffiti decorated gateways, and car and house windows were broken. All in all, the city looked as if the protest had already taken place, and the walled residential areas in other side of the city were out of this world.
Nothing happened for hours, and I started to feel bored. Mr. Shadows talked on radio about Federal Reserve Bank and people listened around campfires. It was weird sight, whole downtown of LA was full of busses and camping sites, like Slab City had moved here. When hours passed, it started to feel like the city was ours, like nothing could stop us, until the army attacted next morning.
We stayed the night at the California countryside, away from all towns, and waited for other rebels, until the next afternoon the last ones arrived. I was nervous the whole way to Los Angeles, this was much greater than yesterday's protest, and I didn`t thought that everything would go as easily in the future.
Los Angeles looked a lot worse than I had thought. Everywhere was floating smog, illegal immigrants slept on their blankets in graffiti decorated gateways, and car and house windows were broken. All in all, the city looked as if the protest had already taken place, and the walled residential areas in other side of the city were out of this world.
Nothing happened for hours, and I started to feel bored. Mr. Shadows talked on radio about Federal Reserve Bank and people listened around campfires. It was weird sight, whole downtown of LA was full of busses and camping sites, like Slab City had moved here. When hours passed, it started to feel like the city was ours, like nothing could stop us, until the army attacted next morning.
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